“Say I am You” The Weepies

I am so sleepy.

Last night, I made a promise to Preston (my husband) that I would get up with him in the morning, which is earlier than I have usually been getting up. Of course, I make these promises when I'm not really sleepy and trying to fall asleep at night. Needless to say, I'm mildly regretting my words this morning, but for better or for worse, I was actually up well before my birth control alarm went off. I had a pleasant time with Preston before he left for school, drinking coffee and commenting on the fact I have yet to memorize the words to the J-Pop theme song from Great Teacher Onizuka (the live-action version). Now I am left to myself, my coffee and my iPod, which is playing today's current selection for discussion.

OK, I think the coffee is kicking in, but the feeling of awake-ness isn't so harsh anymore. The Weepies has that effect on me, and I am glad for it.

I would like to say that I discovered The Weepies all by myself, but that would be lying…in a way. When I first became aware of them, I was browsing the Myspace page of a guy I had recently met through Yahoo at the time. Their song "Gotta Have You" happened to be his selection of background music for the page. I was so intrigued by the lyricism and the voice quality of the woman singing it that I could not resist the need to know more about them. After I had placed the song on my Myspace page and exhausted its play-through over and over again, I decided it was high time that I had a copy of the album for my very own. If the rest of their music was as good as this, then surely I would enjoy it just as much or even more. The rest, as they say, is history. As of now, I have all three of their albums, and it is only fitting that my introduction of their music in this blog starts with this album. As for the guy I met from Yahoo, my friendship with him has come and gone, but I will always be eternally grateful for his unknowing influence towards The Weepies.

I love the story behind the group. They were two solo musicians, aware and in awe of each other's music yet unaware that the other felt the same. One night, they get up the nerve to talk to each other, find themselves writing together before the end of the night and have been writing ever since. If any of you have seen the film Once (which is amazing and you should see it, especially after my blog on its soundtrack, which is also amazing), then it will remind of you in a way of that story. The only difference is…well, shucks…I can't tell you if you haven't seen the film yet. It would spoil the story. Just take my word for it that it's similar, ok? OK.

He he, the song "Nobody Knows Me at All" is on at the moment, and I can't help but smile a nice warm lazy smile. It always reminds me of this one time Casey and I were spending time with friends Phiet and April, and this song came on. It's hard to describe that moment, but let me tell you, it was pretty funny and memorable. I do remember it was in the car, and now that I think about it, many of my memories with this particular album occurred in my car, moving along and watching nature pass me by. It gives me that balmy, sleepy cloudy sky, 75-degree warm feeling all over, which was usually the perfect cure for a long day at work or whatever seems to be daunting. It contains a sort of quiet happiness about it that keeps you warm on cold days and allows you to slow down and enjoy life on warm days.

My only question about their music that has never been answered is this: what on earth do they mean when they sing "You know, the way you look makes everyone hungry" in the same song as "Dye your hair suicide blonde"? What color is suicide blonde, anyways?

Any suggestions towards an answer to that question will be gladly accepted. But for now, I'm off to spend one of my last few days of freedom from the work world cleaning, playing Sims 2 and other video games, and getting employee paperwork done, all with a balmy, sleepy cloudy sky, 75-degree warm feeling all over. If it wasn't so chilly outside, I would lay a blanket out in my backyard and watch the clouds.

I guess that will just have to wait until Spring.

“Amusing” Chris Rice

First off, I suppose you're wondering how I determine which album to write over during this project. It truly is rather simple yet time consuming, which is why it took me so long to get it started. I suspect it might have been easier and more 'environmentally friendly' to merely press shuffle and see where it took me. However, I found a huge flaw in this method. I would constantly have to be pausing, reversing and forwarding to hold my place, and who's to know when my husband will want to commandeer my iPod because he has yet to transfer his favorites from my music? (I say this only with heart-felt affection; I take it as a compliment that he likes a lot of the music I have introduced to him.) Needless to say, this had to be remedied. And it was. I actually typed out all the albums/artists, printed them off, cut them into strips, folded them up and placed them all in an old gift bag. Granted, another way would have possibly been easier, but as I have neither Internet at home nor the patience to sit at the school and figure it out, this is the method that made the most sense.

In this fashion, I had my obliging husband draw the first selection, which brought forth the first review you have been—no doubt—anxiously waiting to see.

This journey begins with the more popular Chris Rice album, "Amusing." I say it's popular in the sense that, out of all of his albums, it's the only one that I recollect being played on both Christian and secular radio stations. And when I say play, I mean the one song that everyone knows from that album: "When Did You Fall (in Love)". It was for that very reason that I myself desired and obtained my own copy of the album. Over the years, I have found Chris Rice's music to be one of my favorites. I completely enjoy his kid-like lyricism whose wisdom transcends every age of life. That's just it—he knows how to have fun with music, yet in the middle of that whimsy, deep truths resonate. Pure lyric genius. That's all there is to it. This album is no different.

However, it has been quite some time since I have had any desire to listen to it. As time when on, the songs began to have bittersweet memories attached to them that were rather hard to audibly digest. It reminds me of a cold January afternoon on my driveway, comprehending another relationship gone south—quicker than I had expected it to at the time. It reminds me of a rainy day in July spent in a hospital room, only to find out that we had precious little time with Grandma Gray, a very spirited and strong woman that all of us loved and respected. It reminds me of nights spent alone in my car, driving home from work, wondering what I would do with my life. What follows are the emotions that are typically found in the middle of these sorts of memories—anger, regret, sadness, uncertainty, and loneliness. What do you do with that kind of emotional baggage? Even now, it's hard to let it go. More memories come. A silent yet tear-filled cafeteria meal flickers, along with the memory of how hard it was to eat during that time of emotional pain. Fights, things said, things unsaid…so much overwhelms.

Then, songs like "Sleepyhead Sun" with its bright yet quiet tone reminding me of the goodness of life, "The Final Move" heralding love conquers all when it really matters, and "Amusing" whispering of the ironic way life moves along make their way into the playlist mix. The storm quiets, and the sun warms. I find that a handsome and wonderful man of God is by my side, quietly enjoying a play-through of Fallout 3. The house is in disarray, but the guests that come from time to time pay no mind because of the friendly atmosphere found here. My family is well, though a little worse for wear, and thankful for each other more than ever before.

As the album finishes, these words filter from my iPod dock:

"At least for now, I'm smiling"…"You can't write such a comedy without some conspiracy"…"I find it all so amusing"…

Before I started this post, my husband asked me if I wanted to start out with such a weighty subject. "It'll make you emo," Preston pointed out. "And I don't want you to be emo." It's true that it was emo. But whether or not I wrote it now or later made no difference to emo-ness. "Besides," I reasoned with him, "I have you and a bunch of good other things that make it not-so-emo." And with that explanation, he smiled.

Life goes on. And I'm smiling. Now, to ponder what dinner for one will be tonight. Hopefully something decently yummy. I have yet to cook that split pea soup, but that's hardly appealing. Probably something to do with chicken. Anyways, I'm off. Till next time!

“With a Righteous Invasion of Truth…”

These words were the main theme behind the first album (in CD form) that I ever owned. It was one of many Carman albums that I desired and obtained over the course of my young life. I remember the Christmas I received it with my sister as a gift, back in the day when Christian music was the prevalent musical influence in our household. In a time before mp3 players and iPods, my music selection was rather limited, and I reveled in my musical ignorance.

That was over ten years ago.

Having just recently celebrated my 25^th birthday, I decided to look back on the past quarter century and contemplate upon how much I have grown (as I am sure all of us do in our mid-twenties). Indeed, I have grown in stature and intellectual capacities. I have had many life experiences both joyous and somber that have created a hopefully well-rounded individual. One thing that has also hallmarked my somewhat varied life is the massive amount of music I came to listen to over the years. Now that I have caught up with the times with my own iPod, I find myself listening to a song or a band that I have placed in the back corners of my melodic memory on numerous occasions. Many times over recent months, I have asked myself the question, "What was I thinking when I listened to this band/song/genre/album?" While my musical tastes have held somewhat a basic intrinsic theme of sorts, the variations of each can at times seem to be the extreme of the others. When I listen to my iPod on shuffle, I am amazed at how many times the songs don't make sense next to each other in my repertoire of lyrical gems and "diamonds-in-the-rough."

Then, it occurred to me. I'm a musical hoarder.

It's true, and as they say, admission is the first step to recovery—or in this case, discovery. I have set before myself a journey of sorts for the coming year…or however long it takes to trudge through all the music that finds itself on my iPod. Inspired by a recent film of blogging through food, I have decided to blog through music. More specifically, I have decided to blog of my life through music. Much of the reason I kept all this music is that, at some point, each one of these songs was a part of my life, describing where I was at that time. Everyone has said at some point that they had a grouping of songs that were the 'soundtrack to their life.' This, my fellow travelers, is mine.

I invite you to join me, whoever you may be, on a journey of vulnerability and self-discovery as I recount the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life through 228 of the most poignant moments (or less than poignant, depending on the context) of my life. My one hope is that through this journey I inspire myself—and perhaps even you—to find the unique melody within that God has placed since the beginning of our existence. For among all the songs, one central theme will become clear.

And I intend to find out what that theme is for me.